Guest Post: Eileen

Got Change? . . .

I was supposed to guest-post for Ivy back in August when she was on vacation – and well . . . I failed (which is totally out of character) because I found myself in the midst of some massive Change.  And being a complete Change-o-phobe?  It threw me off track for a couple of months and I’m just now finding my stride.  Change can have that effect – but I’m here to tell you why you should try it anyway:  Because Change.  Is.  GOOD.

Oh yes – I’d heard that for years.  In fact – I would even say it to other people.  But between you and me?  I didn’t really believe it.  I’ve given some thought to my fear of change, and general risk-adverse personality – I’ve wondered if I was born that way?  Or did my quirky 1970’s upbringing (small-ish town, no TV, and highly academic parents) foster that in me?

The Change at hand had to do with my day-job.  I worked at the same small office for 9 years, (NINE YEARS!), and probably should have left three years ago.  But in my classic stubborn-taurus-fear-of-change style – I waited until it was unbearable before I finally moved on to something new.  Why?  Why did I waste three valuable years of my life, countless hours of sleep and so many tears?  Well . . . I was comfortable, and the thought of going somewhere else & the potential lifestyle changes I would face were I to make less money felt really scary.  I also have two kids, and have been the primary breadwinner & provider of healthcare benefits for the last three years in this messed up economy – so it wasn’t just me I was thinking about.  In the worst moments I just wanted to QUIT, but being unemployed wasn’t an option.

One of my favorite stories of all time involves a friend I met in Los Angeles years ago.  She is British – and as the story goes she found herself in Berlin on December 30th one year, and decided to answer a call for a DJ at a club for New Year’s Eve.  She went for the interview and got the job.  The clincher was that she had ZERO experience as a DJ – she just told them that their equipment was different than what she was used to, so she’d have to come in several hours early to get the hang of it.  And guess what?  She ROCKED the HOUSE all night long – and the only complaint she got was that they wanted her to announce more songs in German.  She went on to work for that company for five years, several of which she spent in Hong Kong as a DJ in a club there.  Wow.

Until recently I never would have taken a leap of faith like that.  And in all honesty – I don’t know that I’ll ever do something quite that ballsy.  But her story has remained at the forefront of my mind in the last couple of years as I began to stretch myself . . . not only in anticipation of a career change, but also with new creative ventures in photography and art.  And with this stretch I’ve seen a clear change in my attitude.  Where I used to think “Oh – I could never do that . . .”, I now say “Why Not?!”  
The results of this new “Why Not?!” attitude are mind-boggling, even to me.  Just over a year ago I flew across the country by myself to attend Squam Art Workshops in New Hampshire – where I took my first painting class ever.  I came home from that experience with the distinct feeling that painting is part of what I’m meant to do.  Since then I’ve taken three e-courses (photography, blogging and painting!), traveled to England (bookmaking!), and headed back to the magical shores of Squam Lake last month to keep the creative mojo going. (& to swim in the ice-cold water!)  As corny as it sounds, I really am creating my own reality – and with each day that goes by, I get more excited about my life and where it’s going.  Whether I was historically risk-adverse by nurture or nature . . . it feels great to now be living outside the proverbial box.

Oh and in the end I did quit my job.  As in . . . at 5:00pm on my last day I said to my boss, “As it turns out?  Today was my last day.”  And I walked out.  I had put up with unbearable conditions for far too long – and I felt victorious that I created a situation where I could leave on my terms.  I moved on to something exciting and new, and haven’t given any thought to my old job since.

I don’t necessarily advocate fibbing at an interview (like my DJ friend), or leaving a job without giving notice.  But as a result of overcoming my fears I realized that not only was something better within my grasp all along, but I learned that Change really IS good – and having conquered this one?  I know that other big changes in my life won’t be so difficult. 

Eileen embracing the jump into frigid water!  Way To Go Eileen!!!

Eileen Nishi is a photographer, mixed-media artist and lifelong learner who blogs at www.westofwhimsy.com.

Thank you SO much for this post Eileen.  It is pertinent to my very life right now! {PS, I'm a Taurus too, May 10th!!  Just two days apart *grin}

Cheers~Ivy