Motherhood

#StrongIsTheNewSkinny

Have you seen this hashtag? #StrongIsTheNewSkinny !!!

Yep, you read that right.  My husband has been saying it for years after listening to my complaints that my body isn't skinny anymore... he would say skinny chicks aren't attractive, athletic builds are much prettier. He's right... I don't like the look of skeletal bodies but I do like beautifully sculpted bodies with a thin layer of cushion to keep the muscles from looking too stringy and the skin from looking too thin.

I don't look like either but I'm shooting for the athletic, strong, MILF look.  I'll get there, especially if these headaches keep reminding me that I'm not working very hard on my health.

I HEAR YOU BODY!  I need to hydrate more, cut the sweets left over from stockings and get back to my good protein carb ratios I was doing just a month ago.  I need to get more exercise because I don't think spin class once a week and almost daily sex is enough... it's good just not enough *wink* {oh man... I just said that on my blog!}

Strong is the new Skinny, Strong is the new Skinny, Strong is the new Skinny.... my mantra to go along with my 2012 word Balance which has been hanging on for dear life and it's only the 11th day of January.

I am going to go back to work full time outside the home. Budget demands it.   It will be good, It will be tough, It will make my Balance goals more difficult but I'm up for the challenge.  I can do anything, I've seen me do it.  It's an attitude you have to adapt.  I have friends, family, support.  This will be a change, one I will make good. 

Strong is the new Skinny, Balance, I can do Anything.  Strong is the new Skinny, Balance, I can do Anything.  Good mantra... add a little forgiveness and tolerance in there and I think the recipe is GREAT!

Today is:
Roasting Coffee
Ordering Business Cards for Towler Photography
Laundry
Wrap one last Christmas gift :-)
Photo Editing
Buy Chicken for grilled Chicken and Spinach Quesadillas {and more Tylenol}
Trust the Tylenol will kick this headache to the curb along with a huge glass of water and all day hydration
Trust in me
Kiss my children and play
Romance my husband... and play

Long Day

After a day of cleaning.. we took some pictures to test out the front room for the baby photos I'm doing tomorrow.
The twins loved helping with this.

Off to bed to start Clockwork Prince... I tried to start it the other night but was so sleepy.... maybe I'll get in a chapter tonight.

Cheers and Love~
Ivy

She's always in my thoughts and a PS at the bottom

My mom.

I think about her a lot.  She appears in every room of my house as a piece of artwork or decor, a child's toy, a photo, an idea she gave me or an idea I need.  She's everywhere all the time. 

Yesterday I desperately wanted to ask her a question.  I stopped, stood where I was and let the tears come.  That overwhelming feeling hit, the feeling of NEVER getting to talk to her again NEVER having my questions answered, NEVER getting to show her how amazing my kids are, NEVER NEVER NEVER again. 
I was alone... my preferred place to cry is anywhere alone but I also felt alone like part of my identity was missing, she's missing.. she's part of me. 

My question yesterday seems silly today, I wanted to ask how she cooked the chicken for the amazing salad she made me after the twins were born.  I'm pretty sure she used my made up recipe for the chicken part, where you marinate the chicken in italian dressing then pan fry it and add water after it is browned... simple and delicious but her's tasted way better than mine.  Maybe I was just hungry, I WAS breastfeeding newborn twins... maybe it's because mom made it.  Anyway... so many questions I didn't know to ask or couldn't ask because I hadn't thought of them yet. Everyone said "ask your mom all the questions you want answers to"... how can you do that?  How can you know what you want to ask until it pops in your head?  How can you guess at what you want to know or will need....  
I have the rest of my life to unravel from this need.  I know the ache will fade.  It already has a tiny bit which is a welcomed relief for sure.

Losing my mom triggered something, it has me planning for my own absence in my children's life.  A bit morbid I suppose but as a mom, I plan for the worst and hope for the best.  I now feel like making/completing my kiddos baby books and printing out photos and hand writing all their amazing and neat qualities as the most important thing I can do for them second to LOTS AND LOTS OF QUALITY TIME TOGETHER.  This is part of my 2012 BALANCE plan.  I really hope I can do it, balance life with quality since quantities are limited and not guaranteed.

Here is a picture from one of four Christmases. This is my mother-in-laws on Christmas Eve.

OK, now for the PS.    TWO inspirational blogger/photographers to share with you.

Do you all read Madeline Bea's Blog? One of my favorites!!!! I have her blog button on the side of my blog, that's how much I love her.  She did a post here talking about a spending freeze and some free things you can do as activities.  Here is the post to several links of free fun: http://madelinebea.com/blog/2011/12/freezing-assets-january/.  I am doing the Strathmore Art Classes.  The great thing about these classes in addition to being free... they are open until August!  SO, if you are busy and can't participate weekly, you can do it once a month!!  There are printable pdf files and supply lists, watch videos etc. etc.  So far it is really neat!  There is also a foodie course I may look into.  I have to keep in mind... balance.

Also, I received an award, a blogging award!  For a long time, I showcased my awards in a slideshow at the bottom of my blog but then I wanted to simplify and took it down, maybe I should put it back up and add this too.  Today I want to showcase Naomi from Poetic Aperture.  She said some very nice words about me over at her place when she gave me The Versatile Blogger Award {Versatile: flexible, accomplished, multifaceted, talented, ingenuous} so please go and check her out!  I met her in one of my online photography classes.  There are amazing people out there if you just allow yourself to be open to new ideas, opportunities and of course fun! Be sure and read Naomi's "Bucket List" or "Life List"... she has some neat ideas and she takes pretty photos!


Cheers~Ivy

2012: Balance | Life | Photography | Art

Today is the beginning of something new for some or just another day on the calendar for others.
I love happy endings and new beginnings.  I absolutely take this change to reset my thoughts and actions.  If not today, when?  I need New Year do-overs :-)

It is a bit hard to read, we took this photo free-hand at night with a bounced flash and my arms outstretched... read as: not still for crispness!
I snagged this FREE pdf printable from Thirty Handmade Days where I grabbed the kids DIY printable that is similar, see my post here.  She also just put up a neat iPhone calendar for January!!

WANT: What I really want in 2012:  P a t i e n c e. . . .  I blow up easily with my kids, especially if I am stressed or lack sleep or am experiencing hormones at their worst.  I don't want to be that person.  My kids are good kids.  They deserve a mom that can see things for what they are and not let her reaction always be a scream or yell.  This is what I really want to work on.

NEED: What I really need in 2012:  B a l a n c E. . . . I am juggling many things.  All choices I made willingly but just the same, I need balance with in these choices.  I discussed it here in more detail.

SHARE: What I will share in 2012:  T i m e. . . . This goes along with the balance and patience.  I want to give more of my time to my kiddos and my husband, more time to friends and family.  There are limits each day.. I need to absolve those limits with balance and share my time.  It's a FREE gift like smiles, laughter and hugs.

SUCCEED: In 2012 I will succeed at:   H o n e s t y with myself. I don't think I'm dishonest with myself... I think I just need to pay attention to the truth more.  Does that make sense?  Part of this goes along with my balance theme... honest with how many minutes are spent on the computer, honest with how many minutes are spent with my children, house-charming, Towler Photography oh and let's not forget... time with my main squeeze!

Add: time to read, art, guilt-free play, new clothes, sexy boots, healthy lifestyle, road bike, beautiful fit body, blogging, generosity, love, a happy family, a successful photography business with some studio lighting and possibly a new camera and a Gorgeous Home Office!  That is what my 2012 IS going to bring me.  I will fight for it all and make it happen.  It is a choice after-all.

Here are a few photos of our treasure box painting.  My daughter and I are doing the Brave Mother's and Daughters class by the Brave Girl's, discussed initially here.  The 3 week course is over but it is open for 3 months which is perfect for us.  We have to carve out time to do fun stuff like this.  We will finish them today and also work on our journals more!!

Isn't she beautiful

Artists in war paint

Another artist in war paint

Cheers to a new year of unknowns and the optimism to see the good in it all.
~Ivy